I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
