so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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