Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
