I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I would ride that face into the sunset
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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