I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
