i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
