i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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