I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
