Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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