There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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