The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Randomize
