So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
