Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
