Whoa Z and x make the same sound
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Michael Bay diarrhea
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Randomize
