Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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