I must be too annoying 4 u.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
