what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize