eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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