OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize