apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
