around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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