you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
