Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
My liver just had a heart attack.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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