I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
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