Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Randomize
