I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
should my penis look like a turkey
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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