Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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