i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Randomize
