i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
