Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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