I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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