'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
