Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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