So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
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