I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Randomize
