i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
