FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
