hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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