Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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