Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
