i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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