my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Randomize
