Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
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