Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
