I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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