I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
