She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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