I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
The air taste purple.
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