"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
