he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
50% drunk capacity currently
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
